SUPPORT...... Before or is it AFTER? (does it even matter)

At 1:45 in the morning, I find myself in my usual spot, but instead of focusing on my typical activity of designing, my thoughts are centered on reflection. I am looking back on the past 41 years of my life, specifically on the people I have chosen to surround myself with. Every girlfriend, friend, and family member in my life has been a conscious choice, inviting them to be part of my memories.

Throughout my life, I have been blessed with many talents and have been aware of them since birth. Despite being around various friends, I have never truly felt like I belonged to any specific close circle since leaving Randolph, Ma in 1988. While I had a support system before, before showcasing my artistic talents or having the means to keep up with trends, things changed after my move to Georgia in 1988.

Following my relocation to Georgia, where I had a circle of friends that I am still in contact with today, I question whether they are my true support system. After moving to Providence, RI in 1991, I experienced a significant change within myself, losing sight of my identity and drive. It was in Rhode Island where I felt disconnected from who I was, akin to Austin Powers losing his mojo in the movie.

I don't want to delve too deep into this, but the concept of support is weighing heavily on my mind. I established my company, RUDE EYE LAND PRODUCTIONS, in 1973 and have had products priced as low as $10. Despite this, none of the people I know, aside from my friend Lanre (who is not a typical Rhode Islander), have made any purchases. I have received numerous likes and half-hearted requests for designs or items, but not a single family member, beyond my mom and aunt in Philly, has bought anything.

Given this situation, I am left questioning the idea of support. While I have had sales from strangers across the country and inquiries from England, the lack of support from those I have been around for

nearly two decades is striking. Should I feel a certain way about this? Should I acknowledge their congratulations and support only after reaching a certain level of success? Many artists have explored this theme in their work, such as Drake with "Started from the Bottom" and Ed OG and the Bulldogs with "You wasn't with me when we were riding the bus."

THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU SET OUT TO DO! When these thoughts overwhelm you, it is essential to acknowledge them, release them, and make space for your new life with less baggage.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! (March 27, 2014 2:19am)